Subject: Klingon Programmers (fwd)
augustus@acerbic.org
Date: Sun Dec 09 2001 - 16:59:15 AKST
Thought ya'll might get a kick out of this...
http://www.geocities.com/connorbd/varaq
Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer:
12) "Specifications are for the weak and timid!"
11) "This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am
to do battle with this code!"
10) "You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the
original Klingon."
9) "Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!"
8) "What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software
'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and
quality assurance people in its wake."
7) "Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments'
- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM."
6) "Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the
weak."
5) "I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth
contest. They will not concern us again."
4) "A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!"
3) "By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family.
Prepare to die!"
2) "You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you
stand!"
1) "Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it
and let them flee like the dogs they are!"
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