[aklug] Re: Fwd: EFF April Fools Reports

That is *awesome*.

On Mon, Apr 4, 2016 at 7:56 AM, Christopher Howard <christopher@alaskasi.com
> wrote:

>
>
>
> -------- Forwarded Message --------
> Subject: Will Obama take it to the next level? | EFFector 29.08
> Date: Fri, 01 Apr 2016 20:16:52 -0700
> From: EFFector List <editor@eff.org> <editor@eff.org>
> Reply-To: EFFector List <editor@eff.org> <editor@eff.org>
> To: christopher@alaskasi.com
>
> View as a web page
> <https://supporters.eff.org/civicrm/mailing/view?reset=1&id=1504>
>
>
> [image: EFFector!]
> <https://supporters.eff.org/civicrm/mailing/view?reset=1&id=1504> [image:
> Electronic Frontier Foundation] <https://www.eff.org/>
>
>
> In our sqrt(-1)th issue:
> Obama Seeks Cellebrite Assistance with Candy Crush Saga Backdoor
> <https://www.eff.org/pages/04/01>
>
> After technology advocates pushed back against a court order filed against
> King.Com Ltd for cheat codes that would allow President Obama to bypass
> Level 125 of Candy Crush Saga, the White House is seeking assistance from
> the Israeli technology firm Cellebrite to backdoor the viral game.
> "Licorice swirls and layered meringues cannot stand, should not, will not
> stand in the way of progress," Obama said in the Rose Garden.
> EFF Encourages State Department To Take Hard Look at "Computers"
> <https://www.eff.org/pages/04/01>
>
> In the wake of the U.S. State Department's agreement to renegotiate some
> of the more controversial terms of the Wassenaar agreement on export
> controls, EFF is urging a strong stance against general computing devices.
> "Computers have had a good run, but it's time we stop trying to pretend
> that they have any positive value," said EFF attorney Nate Cardozo, looking
> up from the plow with which he had just completed an honest day's work.
> Pirates In Crisis <https://www.eff.org/pages/04/01>
>
> Internet pirates convened an emergency meeting on IRC this week after
> realizing that their rampant piracy was failing to destroy western culture.
> Pointing to a chart of ever-increasing revenues for entertainment
> conglomerates, Captain copyB33RD bemoaned, "Thar be sales here!" Younger
> pirates have for years been telling established captains that filesharing
> tends to boost the revenues of quality media and that people are happy to
> support creators financially, even without being forced to by the global
> network of surveillance and censorship necessary to enforce copyrights
> online. To destroy western culture, they say, pirates should simply embrace
> the playbook of the big studios and let endless sequels and rehashing of
> offensive plotlines do their work for them.
> ODNI Convenes Closed-Door Meetings on Foreign Intelligence Surveillance
> Act Acronyms <https://www.eff.org/pages/04/01>
>
> Following criticism from Congress that the Intelligence Community is
> playing wordgames in response to official inquiries, Director of National
> Intelligence James Clapper has agreed to convene a classified hearing to
> decide once and for all whether the secret court created Foreign
> Intelligence Surveillance Act should be called FISC or FISA Court. "The
> session will be closed to the public," Clapper announced in a press
> conference, "but one thing I can say is that we are unified in our belief
> that The Guardian should stop spelling it Fisa."
> T-Mobile Trademarks "Who the F*** is EFF?"
> <https://www.eff.org/pages/04/01>
>
> In an effort to stem the flood of tweets from EFF supporters, T-Mobile CEO
> John Legere has filed a trademark application for the infamous question he
> posed on in a live chat: "Who the F*** is EFF?" EFF has filed a formal
> opposition to the registration, and the Economic Freedom Fighters in South
> Africa and the European Fisheries Fund are expected to join our comments.
> Announcing: Privacy Badger Acceptable Ads Program
> <https://www.eff.org/pages/04/01>
>
> EFF's popular browser extension Privacy Badger will be introducing a new
> "Acceptable Ads" policy. Effective immediately any advertisement which
> contains images of badgers will not be blocked by default. Furthermore, any
> Badger related web pages will be allowed to display advertisements.
> Although some aspects of this plan may be controversial, we feel that it is
> an important step toward increasing badger visibility on the Internet.
> Fine Print Justice <https://www.eff.org/pages/04/01>
>
> Oral arguments at the Supreme Court turned ugly today when Apple revealed
> that a majority of Justices have committed themselves to rule in favor of
> Apple in all cases. The unwitting Justices ran afoul of a little-known
> provision of Apple's End User License Agreement, which has now placed the
> company (AAPL +204%) effectively in charge of the judicial branch of the
> United States government. At today's hearing, Justice Kagan smugly chided
> her colleagues for not choosing Android, apparently unaware of her own
> agreement to a similar provision favoring Google (GOOG +19%).
> miniLinks
>
> A New Tool To Fight Cyber-Pathogens <https://www.eff.org/pages/04/01>
>
> Cyber-researchers with the CCDC (Cyber-Center for Disease Control) have
> announced the creation of new cyber-vaccines which they hope will assist in
> the cyber-war on deadly cyber-pathogens. Cyber-researchers have so far
> declined to comment of the cyber-side-effects of the cyber-vaccine.
>
> Department of Justice Licenses "Vantablack" Pigment
> <https://www.eff.org/pages/04/01>
>
> The U.S. Department of Justice has obtained an exclusive license to the
> use of “Vantablack,” a recently developed substance made of light-absorbing
> carbon nanotubes and believed to be the world's blackest material. In a
> statement, the Department said it intends to use the material for Freedom
> of Information Act redactions.
>
> World Wildlife Fund Moves Warrant Canaries to Endangered Species List
> <https://www.eff.org/pages/04/01>
>
> In a setback to successful captive breeding programs underway since 2013,
> the Warrant Canary has been moved to the endangered species list. A WWF
> spokesman, reached for comment, said “I've been advised not to say anything
> about this matter.”
>
> FCC Fines Verizon Over Supercookies; Enjoins Company to Provide Supermilk
> <https://www.eff.org/pages/04/01>
>
> On Monday, the telecom company protested the agency's actions, saying that
> it was inevitable that the FCC would then ask for a superstraw, a
> supernapkin, and a supermirror to check for a supermilk supermustache.
> Administrivia
>
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Received on Mon Apr 4 07:43:31 2016