Subject: [Fwd: Fwd: Fw: Zen thoughts for the day]
From: Matthew Dunaway (fert@eagle.ptialaska.net)
Date: Fri May 16 2003 - 09:52:24 AKDT
> > Zen-type thoughts for the day...
>>
>> Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of
>> me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just
>> pretty much leave me the hell alone.
>>
>> The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and
>> a leaky tire.
>>
>> It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
>> neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
>>
>> Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
>>
>> Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
>> promoted.
>>
>> No one is listening until you fart.
>>
>> Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
>>
> > Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
>> shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and
> > you have their shoes.
>>
>> If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
>>
>> Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
>> fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
>>
>> If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
>> probably worth it.
>>
>> If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
>>
>> Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
>>
>> Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
>>
>> Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that
>> comes from bad judgment.
>>
>> The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and
>> put it back in your pocket.
>>
>> There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
>>
>> Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are
>> moving.
>>
>> Experience is something you don't get until just after you need
it.
>>
>> Never miss a good chance to shut up.
>>
>> We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass...
>> then things get worse.
>>
>> Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
>> laxative on the same night.
>>
>> There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
>>
>> There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people
>> to make a big deal about your birthday...around age 11.
>>
>> Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
>>
>> AMERICA - Home of the free BECAUSE of the Brave!
> >
>>
--- End forwarded message ---
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This archive was generated by hypermail 2a23 : Fri May 16 2003 - 09:52:28 AKDT