Subject: Newbe!
From: Jan Zumwalt (jwzumwalt@neatinfo.com)
Date: Mon Nov 25 2002 - 21:28:21 AKST
I would like to introduce myself, I am Jan Zumwalt. As a government computer
programmer for nuclear submarine reactors I became excited about the
prospect of developing some new programs for the sub during my shifts off. A
blind co-worker recommended I look into Linuke. Since this sounded just like
the computer I use on the sub I thought I would give it a try.
I heard good things about "Slack" but thought it might lower my evaluations
if folks referred to me as the guy over their "slacking". I also considered
the most popular edition "Red Hat", but the security guys might think I was
a mole. The equal rights folks would get after me if I showed up with a disk
labeled "Pygmy" . So I decided not to use that either.
Unfortunately I chose to use "Suse" and proudly proclaimed my new recreation
to the crew. I am writing this from the brig because the Commander was told
I had said I was using "sauce" (an activity only allowed during Liberty)...
Oh, well. I am confident this small misunderstanding will be cleared up.
While I await my trial I have tried to get "Sauce" working. I called the
folks that sold it to me but they will no longer answer my phone calls. Go
figure... Anyway here is what I have tried so far. The folks at "Sauce" said
I need a command prompt to start work; so I started the installation at
5:00am. I figured that was prompt enough since that's when the commander
gets up.
They also said that I should do the "howto's" any time I had trouble. I
don't know if this is a prayer or chant but I have said it three times after
I have a problem. My computer has never responded to voice commands like I
see on TV, but I talk into the hole in the back of the computer that says
"Mike" just to be sure.
I reported to the customer service folks that I was unable to get the modem
or sound card mounted like the rest of my hardware, what did I do wrong? The
hard drive worked fine after mounting. They also said I needed to be "root"
or a "user." I tactfully explained that I could not be a "user" because
drugs are expressly prohibited and that I was not a "root" - I was
"enlisted". I don't see what my rank has to do with anything!
Another problem I have every time this thing starts is it jams up; or at
least that's what I think "Login" must mean. It sounds to me like there is a
log jam caused by a "root". The folks at "Sauce" told me not to worry, just
use my password. I could not get this thing to work even with the customer
support folks helping. I told them I was not supposed to use my password but
gave them my password for the silo activation sequence (WWIII-BYE!).
One last thing. Customer support fixed all my startup problems by having me
do these two commands:
cd \
rm *
The log jam (login:root>) thing is gone now. How do I get my computer to run
the X window thingy after it says "no operating system found, insert disk"?
Hey! Good news... my lawyer just came by and said they dropped all the
"sauce" charges against me - they are just considering a "capital" charge. I
figure this is good news because a "capital" charge will take into account
my strong patriotic feelings and the fact that I live in Washington DC.
I was ask if I knew where the guy I gave my password to has gone with the
five million dollars deposited to his bank account. What a bunch of idiots,
they expect me to know why he left the country!
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This archive was generated by hypermail 2a23 : Mon Nov 25 2002 - 21:28:35 AKST